SPEAKER_01: 0:11

So let's go back to the beginning. We have a man named Sigmund Freud. Around nineteen hundred, Freud helped give birth to something new, psychology as an independent science. Before Freud, what we now call psychology lived inside philosophy. Questions about the mind, suffering, fear, and behavior were philosophical questions. Freud was the first to separate the study of the human psyche from philosophy and place it into a clinical systematic framework. And this didn't happen by accident. Psychology was born because society itself was changing. Europe was moving rapidly from feudal systems into industrial capitalism. Everyday life changed dramatically. Work changed, family structures changed, social pressure increased. People were no longer living slow, predictable lives, tied to land and tradition. They were living under new economic systems, new expectations, and new uncertainties. And something began to appear everywhere. People's behavior changed. People suffered in ways they couldn't explain. And one of the most visible problems was anxiety. People didn't know where it came from. They didn't know why it was there. And they didn't have the language to understand it. Freud's work was an attempt to understand the human psyche under social pressure, to explain why the mind reacts the way it does when the world changes faster than the human nervous system can adapt. That's where psychology truly begins. This episode is about anxiety, and I want to be honest. For a long time I didn't understand what anxiety was. Even when my life looked stable, good business, good income, everything working on paper, I was still worried. Every day, constantly, waiting for something bad to happen, and I didn't know why. That's when I started asking the question seriously. What is anxiety really? Anxiety has many faces. We often think of it as one problem, but it's not. It shows up differently in different people. For some it's panic, for others is avoidance. For others, it's constant tension, sleeplessness, or fear without a clear object. One of the most helpful resources I came across is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. This book was first written over 30 years ago and has been revised and expanded many times. It's a large practical book, not theory for theory's sake, but a detailed explanation of how anxiety and phobias develop, how they shape the human psyche, and how they affect people differently, including differences between men and women. Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health issues worldwide, especially for women, and among the leading causes of psychological suffering for men as well. In this episode, we'll use this book as a framework, not a script. We'll talk about the difference between fear, anxiety, panic, and phobias, how the nervous system actually works, why anxiety is biological and physical, not a personal failure, how stress, trauma, and life events layer over time, why anxiety is often learned, reinforced, and misunderstood. And we'll also talk about lifestyle, sleep, exercise, nutrition, caffeine, alcohol, and substances, and how all of these quietly shape anxiety. Because before we try to fix anxiety, we have to identify it. Before we manage it, we have to understand it. The goal is not perfection, the goal is awareness, boundaries, and growth. That's what this episode is about. And that's where this journey begins. Hi to my wife who helped me in this project for the next three parts. Hi, I did. Thank you for joining me and my audience again. Has been for a while.

SPEAKER_00: 5:08

Hi Reza, thank you for including me being part of this project.

SPEAKER_01: 5:13

You know, I always thought anxiety was something obvious, like panic attack, sweetie palms, heart race, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00: 5:21

That's what most people think, but that's just one phase of it.

SPEAKER_01: 5:27

So what is it then? Because I don't feel like I'm panicking. I just feel constantly a lot, like something is about to go wrong all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 5:38

That's actually a classic sign. Anxiety doesn't always scream. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it just sits in the background of your life and colors everything.

SPEAKER_01: 5:50

So you are saying anxiety isn't always a fear.

SPEAKER_00: 5:55

Exactly. Fear has an object. Anxiety often doesn't. Fear says that things is dangerous. Anxiety says something is wrong, but I don't know what.

SPEAKER_01: 6:07

That explains a lot because half the time nothing bad is actually happening.

SPEAKER_00: 6:12

Right. And that's where people get confused. They start blaming themselves. They say, my life is fine. Why do I feel like this?

SPEAKER_01: 6:23

So that's the worst part, the guilt.

SPEAKER_00: 6:26

And that's where anxiety becomes invisible in society. Because from the outside, everything looks normal, productive, functional, successful.

SPEAKER_01: 6:37

So anxiety isn't just an illness you see, it is something you leave inside.

SPEAKER_00: 6:43

Yes. And um this book does something important here. It doesn't start with solutions, it starts with recognition. Because if you don't uh recognize anxiety the way it is, you end up fighting the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_01: 7:01

So how do you recognize it?

SPEAKER_00: 7:04

By patterns, not moments. Anxiety shows up as constant worry, muscle tension, sleep problems, uh overthinking, avoiding things quickly, needs uh needing control or being exhausted all the time, not because you are weak, but because your nerve system is overworked.

SPEAKER_01: 7:31

So isn't just mental?

SPEAKER_00: 7:34

No, it's one of the biggest misunderstanding. Anxiety is uh biological, psychological, and situational at the same time. Your body reacts first, your thoughts come second, your um story comes last.

SPEAKER_01: 7:53

You said nervous system, that sounds serious.

SPEAKER_00: 7:56

It is, and it's also normal. Your nerve nervous system has one main job, keep you alive. But the problem is it can't tell the difference between a real threat and a per perceived threat or a memory or a future scenario you keep replaying. So it reacts again and again.

SPEAKER_01: 8:23

Even when nothing is happening?

SPEAKER_00: 8:26

Especially then. It's why anxiety feels irrational, but isn't broken. It's misfiring.

SPEAKER_01: 8:34

So why does anxiety look so different in different people?

SPEAKER_00: 8:39

Because it adapts. For some people it becomes panic attack, for others uh social anxiety, for um others phobia, for others OCD like patterns, for some people just constant tension and avoidance. Different expressions, same system.

SPEAKER_01: 9:03

So anxiety is not just one sickness.

SPEAKER_00: 9:06

Exactly. It's a family of responses. That's why comparing yourself to others never helps.

SPEAKER_01: 9:14

So what is the point of all this awareness?

SPEAKER_00: 9:19

This is the first shift. You stop asking what's wrong with me? And you start asking, what is my system responding to? The question alone reduces shame.

SPEAKER_01: 9:31

So in this part isn't about fixing anything yet?

SPEAKER_00: 9:36

No. This part is about naming the problem correctly. Because once anxiety is named, understood, and recognized for what it is, it loses some of its power.

SPEAKER_01: 9:49

And that's where we stop for now.

SPEAKER_00: 9:53

Yes. Next we talk about what to do with it.

SPEAKER_01: 10:09

So now we have named it. Now that we recognize anxiety for what it is, what do we do actually with it?

SPEAKER_00: 10:18

That's the hardest question, because most people want a clean answer, appeal, a method, a finish line. But anxiety doesn't really work that way. So there is no cure. There is management, there is understanding, there is learning how to not let anxiety run your life. But anxiety itself completely gone forever? That's not realistic. And on and honestly, it's not even human.

SPEAKER_01: 10:50

So what is the biggest mistake people make when dealing with anxiety?

SPEAKER_00: 10:56

They fight it. They say, I shouldn't feel this way. Something is wrong with me. I need to get rid of it. And that fight actually feeds anxiety.

SPEAKER_01: 11:07

So anxiety grow when we resist it?

SPEAKER_00: 11:10

Yes, because anxiety is already about control and threat. When you fight it, you confirm its message. Something dangerous is happening.

SPEAKER_01: 11:19

So what is the alternative?

SPEAKER_00: 11:22

You work with anxiety. You learn what triggers it. You learn how your body treat reacts actually, and learn how your thoughts escalate it. And most importantly, you stopped treating it like an enemy. Sounds counterintuitive. It is. But it works. Anxiety is a signal from your nerve system, not a moral failure. So practically where does someone can start? Think in three directions, not one. First the body. Your body is always involved. Breathing, muscle tension, sleep, caffeine, alcohol, exercise. You cannot calm an anxious mind in an exhausted body. Sometimes improvements start with very boring changes.

SPEAKER_01: 12:17

That's not what people want to hear.

SPEAKER_00: 12:20

No, but it is true. Second is mind. This is where patterns leave. Catastrophic thinking, what if loops? Overanalyzing, constant scanning for danger. The goal isn't positive thinking. The goal is realistic thinking. So we are not lying to ourselves. Exactly. We are grounding ourselves. The third one is behavior. This one surprises people. Avoidness keeps anxiety alive. If you avoid what scares you, even quietly, anxiety grows stronger. Facing fear slowly, intentionally, step by step, that's how anxiety loses authority.

SPEAKER_01: 13:10

So the courage actually matters a lot.

SPEAKER_00: 13:14

Yes, but gentle courage, not force. People always ask about medication. Medication can help, sometimes a lot, but it's not a solution by itself. It's a support. Without understanding, without behavior change, without self-awareness, medication alone just quiets symptoms temporary.

SPEAKER_01: 13:38

So what is the hardest truth about anxiety?

SPEAKER_00: 13:42

Some anxiety is part of life. Losing important things in your life, uncertainty, change, responsibility. If someone tells you anxiety can be eliminated completely, they are selling comfort, not truth.

SPEAKER_01: 13:57

So the goal is not to be anxiety free.

SPEAKER_00: 14:01

The goal is to be anxiety capable, to feel it without collapsing, to understand it without panicking, to leave even when it shows up.

SPEAKER_01: 14:11

So the anxiety isn't just suffering?

SPEAKER_00: 14:15

No, sometimes it's a sign that something is misaligned, that something is unresolved, something needs attention. When handled correctly, anxiety can push growth. When ignored or feared, it shrinks life.

SPEAKER_01: 14:34

So this part isn't about fixing everything.

SPEAKER_00: 14:39

No, this part is about tools, direction and realism. You don't defeat anxiety. You learn to work with it without letting it lead.

SPEAKER_01: 14:52

And next?

SPEAKER_00: 14:54

Next we step back and look at the whole picture, what we have learned from this book, what anxiety really is, and how society, life, and meaning all connect to it.

SPEAKER_01: 15:18

So when you look at at everything where we talk about, what stays with you at most?

SPEAKER_00: 15:27

I learned that anxiety isn't new and that it isn't a personal failure.

SPEAKER_01: 15:35

It feels like a something modern and tough.

SPEAKER_00: 15:38

Because life became modern, faster, heavier, more uncertain. Psychology didn't appear because people suddenly broke. It appeared because society changed faster than human could adopt.

SPEAKER_01: 15:54

So anxiety is a response to complexity.

SPEAKER_00: 16:00

Exactly. A nervous system doing its best in a complicated world.

SPEAKER_01: 16:06

And yet it shows up so differently in everyone.

SPEAKER_00: 16:11

Because lives are different. For some people it's panic. For others it's constant worry. For some people it's avoidance, exhaustion, or tension that never fully leaves. Different expression, same system.

SPEAKER_01: 16:28

So that explains why comparison never helps.

SPEAKER_00: 16:32

Yes. Anxiety isn't a competition and it's not an identity. It's something we experience, not who we are.

SPEAKER_01: 16:43

That shift alone feels very important.

SPEAKER_00: 16:46

It changes everything. Once anxiety stopped being who you are, it becomes something you can work with.

SPEAKER_01: 16:55

So the goal was never to eliminate it completely?

SPEAKER_00: 17:01

No. That idea creates more suffering. Some anxiety is part of being alive. Loose will always hurt. Uncertainty will always exist. Responsibility will always carry weight.

SPEAKER_01: 17:18

Then what does growth look like?

SPEAKER_00: 17:21

Learning how to meet life without collapsing. Understanding your body, your thoughts, your patterns, your value. Not fighting anxiety, but listening to what it's pointing toward.

SPEAKER_01: 17:36

That sounds less like a treatment and more like maturity.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

That's a good word for it. Anxiety becomes information, a signal, sometimes a warning, sometimes an invitation to change.

SPEAKER_01: 17:51

And the book Therapy Tools, they're all guidance, not answer.

SPEAKER_00: 17:57

Exactly. They don't remove anxiety from life. They help you stay in your life when anxiety shows up.

SPEAKER_01: 18:05

So maybe the real question was never how to get rid of anxiety.

SPEAKER_00: 18:12

Maybe it was how do I live fully even with anxiety presence.

SPEAKER_01: 18:17

That feels more honest.

SPEAKER_00: 18:20

And more human.

SPEAKER_01: 18:21

So in the end, anxiety doesn't disappear.

SPEAKER_00: 18:25

No, but it also doesn't decide. You decide.

SPEAKER_01: 18:29

Thank you for walking through this with me, Haide.

SPEAKER_00: 18:33

Thank you for inviting me in the conversation. Happy to help. And I learned a lot how to control anxiety.

SPEAKER_01: 18:42

That was the episode of Anxiety. My name is Reza Sancide, and that was Philosophy of Life Podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 18:48

And my name is Haide Kasimi.

SPEAKER_01: 18:50

Like always, these podcasts are for you because you matter. So please let me know what you think. Because we have to make sense of all of it together.