So I came across this book called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. And to be honest with you, the first time I saw it, I didn't even want to touch it. It felt too obvious, too commercial. Another book promising the key to success, the secret to becoming a millionaire, the same style you see everywhere. I looked at the cover and I said to myself, come on, how can this guy possibly know the formula to unlock success? I assumed it was written just to sell copies, nothing more, so I ignored it. But then something changed. I noticed that this book had been translated into so many languages Persian, Spanish, French, German, Chinese, Japanese, Italian, Korean, almost every major language you can imagine. That made me pause. If a book spreads that far, there has to be something inside it. So I thought, okay, what is this book actually talking about? And very cautiously, really cautiously, I started reading, and I was shocked. This book wasn't talking about getting rich or finding some magic key to success at all. It was talking about something much deeper, something we parents and adults deal with every single day. It talked about our fears, our self-limits, the emotional reactions we passed to our children without even noticing. It held up a mirror to the hidden patterns inside us. It was eye-opening. I had to look back at myself and admit, what the hell? I judged this book completely wrong, not a little bit wrong, a lot wrong. And that realization taught me something bigger. We all argue with ourselves every day. We tell ourselves that we know something because we're experienced, because we've lived through things, because we've heard about it before, but so much of The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix presents a fascinating exploration of why we sometimes sabotage our own success and happiness. This groundbreaking work challenges our understanding of personal limitations and offers insights into breaking through self-imposed barriers. The story begins with Gay Hendrix, a parent watching his child struggle in school. His intense emotional reaction to his daughter's challenges sparked a profound self-reflection. Through this experience, he discovered something universal yet rarely discussed. We all have an upper limit, a psychological ceiling that unconsciously restricts our potential for success and happiness. This upper limit problem, as Hendricks calls it, manifests in peculiar ways. When life starts going exceptionally well, many of us unconsciously create problems or find ways to dampen our success. It's like having an internal thermostat set to a specific level of happiness or achievement. When we exceed that level, our subconscious mechanisms kick in to bring us back down to our comfort zone through worry, guilt, anger, conflict, doubt, or procrastination. Consider these common scenarios. A person receives a long-awaited promotion but suddenly starts arguing with their partner. A business owner sees unprecedented growth but becomes paralyzed with fear and starts making self-sabotaging decisions. A relationship deepens, and one partner inexplicably creates emotional distance. These aren't random occurrences, they're manifestations of our upper limit problem. Hendrick's personal revelation came through his parenting experience. His overwhelming reaction to his daughter's school challenges wasn't really about her situation. It was about his own past experiences and deep-seated insecurities. This insight led to crucial understanding. Many of our emotional reactions aren't responses to present circumstances, but echoes of old stories we carry within us. These reactions often stem from past traumas, learned behaviors, or inherited beliefs about what we deserve. The book introduces a framework of four zones that define how we operate in life. The zone of incompetence encompasses activities we're not good at and should probably delegate to others. The zone of competence includes tasks we can perform adequately, but others can do just as well. The zone of excellence represents activities we're highly skilled at and can reliably succeed in. Finally, the zone of genius comprises activities that align with our unique talents and purpose, where we can make our greatest contribution. Most people settle into their zone of excellence because it feels safe and comfortable. However, the real transformation, the big leap, happens when we dare to step into our zone of genius. The zone might feel uncomfortable or even frightening, but it's where our true potential resides. It's the space where we're not just good at what we do, but where we're uniquely suited to create exceptional value. The concept of the zone of genius isn't just theoretical. It's about recognizing that moment when you're doing what you're uniquely suited for, when time seems to flow differently, and when your work feels less like effort and more like expression. It's about identifying the activities that not only utilize your skills, but also energize and fulfill you. This might mean transitioning from being an excellent manager to becoming an innovative leader, or from being a skilled technician to groundbreaking creator. Hendricks emphasizes that the big leap isn't primarily about external changes, it's an internal transformation. It requires acknowledging and challenging the unconscious limits we've placed on our success, happiness, and potential. These limits often stem from early life experiences and beliefs we've internalized about what we deserve or what's possible for us. The most powerful aspect of this concept is its universality. Everyone, regardless of their background or achievements, has some form of upper limit. The key is recognizing when we're hitting that ceiling and choosing to push through rather than retreat to our comfort zone. This awareness allows us to identify our self-sabotaging behaviors and consciously choose different responses. The path forward involves conscious awareness of our self-limiting behaviors and a willingness to experience success and happiness beyond our current comfort level. It's about asking ourselves what would be possible if I remove my self-imposed limits? What could I achieve if I fully embrace my zone of genius? These questions lead us to explore new possibilities and push beyond our conventional boundaries. This internal leap requires courage, self-awareness, and often a complete reimagining of what's possible in our lives. It's about understanding that our biggest obstacles aren't external circumstances, but the invisible boundaries we've drawn for ourselves. The message is clear. Within each of us lies the potential for greater achievement, deeper happiness, and more meaningful contribution. The big leap isn't about dramatic external changes. It's about the profound internal shift that happens when we decide to live beyond our self-imposed limitations and step fully into our zone of genius. When I was recording this part, part three, I went back and looked at my own life, my own choices, and I realized something very uncomfortable. I did exactly what Gay Hendrix talks about. I lived inside my own upper limit. When we first came to the United States, we had a good path in front of us. We were working hard, we had opportunities, and life was opening in ways I couldn't even imagine before. But inside myself, I didn't believe I could go further, and every time things got better, every time success was right there, I pulled back. I didn't understand it then. Now I do. That was my safe zone. I didn't want to leave it. I didn't believe I could buy a property. I didn't believe I could turn it into a real company. I didn't believe I could hire a manager and let someone else run the business so I could work on the business, not in it. I didn't believe I could invest$40,000 in a trade show in Washington, DC. That number felt impossible to me. Like it belonged to people far beyond my level. So I caused drama. I slowed myself down, I sabotaged opportunities that were right in front of me. Not because I was weak, but because I hit my upper limit exactly like Hendrix describes. I was afraid to step into a bigger version of myself. And looking back, it's painful. Honestly, very painful. Because I know that if I understood this earlier, if I had trusted myself a little more, things could have been different. We could have been at a different level. But we don't get to rewrite the past. We only get to learn from it. And that's why I'm sharing this with you. So you can learn from it too. If you ever catch yourself thinking, I can't do that, that's not for me. I'm not ready. Stop yourself. You might already be at line number nine. You might already be right before success, right before breakthrough. Don't quit at line nine. Go to line ten. This is exactly what happened to me with this podcast. When I started, I wanted to give up so many times. People think podcasting is easy. It is not. It is uncomfortable, frustrating, exposing, and I didn't believe I could do it. I started in 2016, and it took me five years to finally say, yes, I can. That's the upper limit problem. Every time I reached the boundary of what I believe I deserved, I pushed myself back down. But the moment you recognize it, the moment you say, This is me holding myself back, not life, not destiny, not other people. That's the moment everything changes. You stop sabotaging yourself. You move forward. You step into the next level of knowledge, of creativity, of success, of who you are supposed to become. This book opened my eyes. It showed me possibilities I didn't know I had. And I hope truly that sharing this helps open something inside you too. Gay Hendrix didn't just write about the upper limit problem, he lived it. And this is what makes his story so incredible. Here's a man who studied psychology at the highest level, a PhD in counseling psychology from one of the most respected universities in the United States, a professor at the University of Colorado for 21 years, a person who spent his entire life helping others understand their own minds, and yet he didn't know he had an upper limit problem himself. He didn't know that he was holding himself back. He didn't know he could take a big leap into a different level of life. He discovered it not in a lab, not in a classroom, not through research, but through something deeply personal, his daughter. When she was in school, in university, he found himself overwhelmed with worry, fear, stress, and for the first time he looked at those emotions closely. He asked himself, why am I reacting like this? Why am I creating this fear? Where is this coming from? And that moment changed everything. He realized that the very patterns he wrote about, the very limits he described in others, he had them too. It's amazing. The journey in this book is amazing. The journey of his life is amazing. And what he uncovered about the upper limit problem is something we all share. We are human. We are complicated creatures. We act from places inside us we don't always understand. And unless we study ourselves, truly study our own mind, our own fears, our own reactions, we repeat the same patterns again and again. That is why I'm doing this podcast to understand who we are, where we come from, why we act the way we act. And one of the easiest, clearest paths to this understanding is philosophy. Because philosophy forces us to look inward, not outward. In the end, the big leap is about choosing to live in your zone of genius, choosing to stop shrinking, choosing to stop pulling yourself back to safety, choosing to step into the larger version of who you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to Philosophy of Life. My name is Areza Sanjude. This was my reflection on the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, a book that reminds us that our greatest obstacle is not the world outside, but the limit inside ourselves. If you enjoyed this episode, stay with me. I will create on a new podcast about ultra learning and Richard Feynman technique, and we'll continue exploring how we can learn, grow, and transform our lives. Until then, take your leap, even a small one.