SPEAKER_02: 0:00

Hi, this is another Tendies podcast. As I promised, we will have three upcoming interviews, and today will be the first one in this area. Today's guest is Heidi Gosselin. She's speak four languages she's good accountant she's great in marketing she's artist painter and she's visionary thinker but what is she's the best a psychoanalysis yes if she sees you she knows you she also my wife who inspired me in this podcast journey and she's always enthusiastic about upcoming podcasts she's not just my wife she's my best friend Also, she's down to earth. And she has very strong personality and her opinions matter to me as well as all your opinions are. These podcasts are centered around the philosophy of life. My intention is to introduce you to the concept that philosophy can bring to your life and how it can significantly impact the way you interact with your environment. For those who don't know me, my name is Reza Sanjide and I am the host. Many thanks for being here and welcome to my show. I hope you enjoy it. Can you tell us a little bit, introduce yourself to my audience?

SPEAKER_01: 1:53

Hi Reza. I'm honored to be your first guest on your podcast show. And hi to your audience. I'm Haideh. I was born into middle class family in Tehran. We are four siblings and I have two sisters and a brother. who are older than me. I'm the youngest kid, actually. Our family's first and second kid are much older than me. Let's say about 18 years older. I can remember my childhood from when I was about three years old. I was a cute, happy, skinny little girl. with a sensitive attitude and stubbornness.

SPEAKER_02: 2:47

I know your mother very well and I did respect her deeply. Can you tell us about her?

SPEAKER_01: 2:55

Yeah, my mom was a hardworking woman and worked as a nurse in hospital. She loved her job. So far I remember she was at work most of her life. Not just because she loved her job, but also because she was the one who paid the bills. Because of her absence at home, my older sister was forced to take care of us, unfortunately. And, you know, from me and my second sister who is four years older than me.

SPEAKER_02: 3:39

I know your father Even though when we were younger as we were dating, I always feared him and I had a great deal of respect of him. Could you describe him to us and how you can recall him?

SPEAKER_01: 3:56

If I want to describe my dad in a couple of sentences, I can tell he had bad luck and went through a tough life. That is why he was always unhappy and played a small role in our lives. However, he was an excellent cook. And if we had something for dinner, he was the one who prepared it. In contrast of my mom, he was a tranquil person.

SPEAKER_02: 4:33

I had ten siblings and four older sisters. My childhood was full of drama and hardship. However, when I think back on those days and years, I honestly say that we have a lot of good times, despite the fact a lot of difficulties. But we were very happy. Our night was full of laughter. What kind of childhood did you have?

SPEAKER_01: 5:01

In general, we had a tough time. The boldest things I remember is I become an aunt at a young age. My older sister got married and had three kids right after each other. I grew up with them and they were like siblings to me. I remember being in fourth grade when I had to walk my youngest lovely niece to school and back. That made me feel like a grown-up and had a responsibility like an adult. I started helping my mom at home one day while helping her. Unfortunately, I spilled the boiling water on my left arm and leg and burned myself. That was very painful. I was 12 and had to take my final exam that year. I failed it, unfortunately, and I had to retake it in the summer. Believe or not, we did not have big expectation from life. We got excited with every tiny You are so right. Our news

SPEAKER_02: 6:39

was about us. We were married back then, much more than today, at least to our family and friends. We were eager to find out about science and not much about politics, but you explained it so well. So we are happily living together for quite some time, but as it wasn't always this way, we did face significant challenges, particularly when we first started our relationship in Iran. I recall that all of our immediate family was quite upset when we declared that we love each other. So we made decision to keep our relationship secret. I recall causing us a great deal of drama during the first years in Germany. Can you tell me what keeps us together on those years?

SPEAKER_01: 7:50

Of course, love. Love is the best link between people, Reza. We were young with big dreams. We were ready to build our lives together. But from your and my family's perspective, we were not a matching couple. Therefore, both sides were against our marriage and gave us a hard time. The loved one and we have living together for 38 years. Going back to 38 years ago, I would definitely choose you again. You are my best friend and most importantly, I love you more every day than I did yesterday. We are, you know, I am a lucky, lucky woman to having you. You are the best husband and good father to our children.

SPEAKER_02: 8:55

I understand that leaving Germany was quite painful because we love it so much. But I look at my brother's life and your extended family in the United States. I mostly decided to move here. I know there were other elements involved as well, such as the fact we didn't have anybody or anyone there. I'd like to have my family around me and my children. We had a very difficult time moving here, and you didn't agree with that for quite some time. I remember you resisting. having friends here. Could you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_01: 9:45

Yeah, actually, I really love to live in Germany. The time we had, that was wonderful time. You know, I know that was not our... close to our nature or culture, you know, especially... people and the weather of Germany. That was bothering. But the good things, it was about family. You had family time there. You know, you're forced to spend time with your family, with your children, no matter what, because at least back then, it was, the stores were closed on Sunday, and That was kind of forcing you to just be with your family. I love United States, actually. Everything is very good. People are very nice. The weather is wonderful. We have our family around. But unfortunately, one bad thing, it takes all these good things away, which you have to work all the time. You don't have time to be with your family, you know, except the holidays. Or maybe in between you find some times to get together. That was holding me back and I really love to be there. Europe or Germany is the best raising children. I loved it. I was against it. I mean, if I go back to that time, I'm not going to let you to move to the United States.

SPEAKER_02: 11:41

I know. It was a difficult decision. Even back then, I'd go back. I revisited Miami, changed my mind, stayed there. It was especially for kids, leaving the kids, friends and everything there. It was quite hard, as I do not want to endure my kids again, that situation. So, religion. Heidi, when I think back, also religion was big effect in our lives. Your father and your brother were both devoted Muslim. And we did leave a nation where religion were practiced almost by all people, which I know is significantly impact our lives. What do you think about religion in your life?

SPEAKER_01: 12:44

Yeah, actually, my dad was practicing religion all the time and he was Muslim, but he never forced us to practice it. He never forced us to wear the scarves or the things like that that is common in my country right now. But my mom, my mom was always kind of person, the middle one, practicing the religion and not practicing that. This is, let me tell you, first of all, I strongly believe in God. And also what I want to talk about religion, I mean, regarding religion is my personal opinion, which comes from my experience. As all of us know, in different stage of our lives, people go through tough and good time. My opinion is thousands years ago when the religion came and people they were practicing it, I think it worked for them like a psychologist, like a doctor or like a wise person. because they were following that. I don't know, that's my opinion. Obviously, all religion supported and guide the people to the right path. Unfortunately, through time, religion has become an excuse to control and abuse us. Religion is a spiritual things. You can mix it with politics. I remember my mom saying, politics is an orphan. You can't engage with religion. In politic, the politiker, they lie. Religion doesn't lie. Do many wrong things, you know, to win, but religion Doesn't have to lie. You know, everything has to be really, really good and benefit to human. Unfortunately, many countries are abusing religion to make excuses to get innocent in fight. I hope I answered your question. Actually, I cannot really express myself more than that.

SPEAKER_02: 15:48

All right. 100% agree. I think religion is a very personal matter. It should be a state personal. Whoever practices it, love God or...

SPEAKER_01: 16:02

I agree. Whoever is comfortable with it, you know, I'm not... You are practicing it. I don't have anything against, you know, when you are praying or fasting. I mean... lots of things in religion is beneficial to human but because of the mixing with the politic it brings the hate to the people you know they keep the stance from religion unfortunately i am one of that person because i think you know let me stop to calling myself one of this religion We all are human, and I believe in God, which is the most important thing. I don't do bad things. I don't steal. I don't do the things that are inappropriate. That's why I have to call myself one of them to give excuse to political abuse me.

SPEAKER_02: 17:30

Haideh, you read a lot of poetry and you love Hafez and Saadi. Do you believe poetry improve your life? And if so, how?

SPEAKER_01: 17:40

Yes, it did. I'm going to read a poem from Saadi of Shiraz, widely recognized as one of the greatest Iranian poets of the classical literary tradition. that is going to describe by itself. All human beings are in truth akin. All in creation share one origin. When fate allots a member pangs and pains, no ease for other members then remains. If unproturbed another's grief casts a scan, though are not worthy of the name of man. Also, I want to read it of Persian language, which it sounds very beautiful. He says, Bani Adama za yeg ek digarand, ke dar aafarin esh za yeg goharand. Che ozvi be dar davarat roozegar, digar ozva ra namonat qarar. Tok az mehnat e digaron biqami. Wow. That

SPEAKER_02: 18:55

was good. That was really good. I know, Haider, we saw a lot, we experienced a lot, and when you look back, what would you advise people to yourself when you were 20 or you were 30 years old? What would you say to yourself?

SPEAKER_01: 19:37

Do you know, Reza, I can advise my young self to study more closely about the society living in. Obviously, at the more immature age, things are not as severe as they are, especially about raising kids. Indeed, because of our busy lives, we spend very little time with our kids. And most of the time, they are outside. outside of the home, and we don't know what happened, actually. We don't know what's happening to them. Kids are very fragile, and our small mistakes could be life-changing events. Actually, I become a mother at a young age and would not change it at all. I love my three children. They are my heart, my breed, and the first love of my life. I really appreciate God for having all three of them. They are the best things to happen to me.

SPEAKER_02: 21:17

Once more, I appreciate it, Haider, your presence. and maybe we should return in the future to this podcast and maybe revisit it also that i forgot about to mention that she is quite animal friendly she helps a lot of shelter around the world and she spent a lot of time to gathering money to all those shelters. So I really appreciate what she's doing. Thank you. Thank you for listening. These podcasts are for you, so your input is quite important. Thank you again.