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Today is August 18, 2022. In two days, I'm going to have a birthday. Well, my 60th birthday. Well, I guess it's a special day. Every 10 days, I guess, you should celebrate somewhat your birthday. And some people do, at least not everyone. I never have. like my birthday I don't know why but I was not a birthday guy anyway so but I remember I was 18 and I really like to celebrate my 18 year 18 years old birthday so I tried it I tried really hard to get a birthday done but it didn't work out so I was trying to do something with my friends but Nothing happened. None of them show up. And back then, it was not a phone, not cell phone. Nothing was available. The only thing you had is just gas as people get rich. So we have home phones, but not everybody was home. So we get planned in advance. So at that date, have a birthday. Let's get together. As always, nobody was really listening. I don't really think anybody is listening now. So when I talk, when I talk seriously, when I talk not seriously, everybody was thinking what he's saying. If he's saying it, it matches what I want to say. If he doesn't say much, I want to say, let me say it myself. And they're thinking about themselves more than the others. I think, I mean, I... honestly thinks that way. However, I do try to listen to the people, even though I'm not excluding myself from everyone. I am also sometimes not listening. But in general, I am trying to listen. I am trying to listen to other people and try to understand them, basically with my views. Everybody has their own views, and I'm not excluded. I am part of a society which we are in. So it is my 60th birthday, and I'm in the office. I'm waiting for Denise to be ready at 7.30. I thought maybe... Let me do some recording. Let me try at least to do some recording. I tried last year to do some podcasting. I did the first episode after I wrote many, many, many pages. Unbelievable. For 10 minutes podcast episode, I studied like crazy. I didn't know where to start. I didn't, never done this before. I didn't, I put them, Me in front of microphone, I start talking. I couldn't come. The words didn't come. So I start gathering information. I start reading. I read a lot of stuff and put like 80 pages, which later I make it smaller, like 20 pages. And I made a 10-minute podcast out of it. However, the podcast never aired. I wasn't happy with it. I was not happy with it. I tried to make a second podcast ready, that podcast I want to do about a book I write. It's called Scott Mindset by Julia Galef. So I read that book four times, believe it or not. And I wrote almost like 150 pages. from 150 pages I get rid of a bunch of them and end up being 80 pages but I never made a podcast out of it because when you read something even though you write it the way you talk it's not like the way you write because the writing is very different than podcasting it it's a very different area so I thought if I write it, even the way I talk, I can read it. And I can make my first podcast. I was really happy. I tried it. I record at least four hours. But our podcast, I mean, all of it was just like... a machine reading his own writing. And to me, it was very fake. It is not real. It's not proactive. It wasn't like a podcast, you know. In podcasts, you have different area of reading, different area of talking. So it's not like... Reading a book, even though reading a book is good. I mean, sometimes people reading books and podcasts, and they are very, very efficient, and they can read fast. And it makes sense. It makes sense when they do it. But when I read this short version of the Scott Mindset, it didn't make sense to me, and I didn't want to hear it. So I give up. I thought I cannot do it. And I was very disappointed of myself. I really want to do the podcasting. I want to do the podcast. I didn't want to be famous. I didn't want to have many people following me. As a matter of fact, nobody following me is going to be fine. I just want to make that podcast. And I couldn't make it. So I was disappointed in myself. And I have a lot of work to do. And I'm a business owner. I have to do some... Changes in my company and we want to make it like a more security MSP company, which is much more difficult than regular MSP So I had to do a lot of work and I give up my podcast and it says what the hell I'm not gonna podcast But lately I am so disappointed. I can't continue work. I think something is missing. I didn't achieve anything. I'm 60 years old. I did not achieve anything. Maybe some people are saying, what is achievement in life? People are saying, well, achievement could be a lot of things. Not necessarily. If you don't do podcasts, you did not achieve anything. It could be You achieve a lot of things. Who knows? Well, I'm very happy. I'm not saying I don't. I'm not happy with my life in general. I am very happy. I was in Iran nobody. I didn't study. I didn't learn anything. I was a good student somewhat, good student. And there was a revolution. I was in the middle of the revolution. When I was 16, the revolution started. When I was 17 and a half, almost 18, the revolution finished. Well, it didn't really finish. I think it's continuing, even to today. However, there was a lot of killing involved. We have to hide. I have to go military and... I did go to military two years. It was a war between Iran and Iraq. It was a tough time. I really have a tough time there. I thought at one point I thought I'm going to die. I didn't die. I was close, was very, very close. I was, I thought I'm dying, 100%. But it didn't happen. I should some days talk about it. I'm not ready for it yet. I'm not ready to remember what was happening in wartime. For me especially, it was like a holocaust. In Germany, saying holocaust, going up and down, up and down. So it wasn't easy. It's not easy to talk about it, at least not for now. However, I did finish my military, and after I did my military, I go back to Iran. There was no job available. Everything was closed. University was closed. So I decided to leave, to leave Iran behind and go to Germany. I mean, while I fall in love, Fall in love with the best person in the world. So we did move together to Germany. And in Germany we get asylum. And it takes four years. It takes really four years. That four years we were waiting for asylum was a tough year. It was a really tough year. So, but the past. Four years passed, and I finished my asylum. After I finished my asylum, I was too old to go back to school. I didn't think, thought I could do it. So I did go to school for architect, well, not architect, design. Designer architect, drawing and This kind of thing. And I did go six months. I was a good student, but I didn't see any future for myself. And I didn't go any further. And then I start doing IT. Find a job in IT and doing building computers. And after building computers, building networking, Back then it was BNC network. It was not too superior. BNC was a coaxial style cable, and you go one computer to another computer, and you daisy-chain these computers. So if one of the computers, something happened to it, you don't have no access to other computers or the cable in between. It was very, basically, problematic technology. network after that it's i think the two-step gaming cat three and the cat five no it's cat six and um two-step game and networking change for good so i was happy in germany i really was for 12 years i was in germany but i i want to grow i want to go achieve more. I really want to do something more in my life. And I came to the United States and I thought, wow, so much difference. Everything was much bigger. And cars were bigger. Home was bigger. And I decided to come here. I decided to come to the United States without deep thinking. And my kids weren't happy. My kids were not happy. They didn't want to come. There were Yalda and Sherry. Sherry, just a few years back, came from Iran. And she didn't want to go to the U.S. And so Yalda, they are friends. good friends. So, starting coming here was not easy, again. But I thought, okay, my brothers are here, my families are here, Haida's families are here. So I thought maybe it's not too bad. We can stay here. We can be together. Well, we came to Washington, D.C. because my brother was here. Before me, Muhammad come, which is actually my fault as he comes. I'm saying my fault. My emphasis to him caused that he's coming. So we came to one place, Washington, D.C. At first, it was not too bad, I would say. We have small houses. We have... We're trying to do something. I have a little bit more money. Muhammad has a little bit more money. Muhammad's situation wasn't bad at all. He has a good situation. He has a house. He has one gas station. He wasn't married. He had very little overhead. I came into my mother, by the way, the last month of my staying in Germany. My mother came to visit me and While she was there, I prepared to get a visa for her and brought her with me here. Well, the starting was perfect. It was beautiful. Even though it was difficult with the kids, everything else was good. Everything else was bigger, nicer. Then the life was cheaper back then, 1995, when I came here. A lot cheaper than Germany. So we tried to stay. We managed to bear for the kids to make it a lot easier in the school and everything else. And I'm happy I came somewhat because Sherry didn't want to finish school. She wants to finish by 10th grade. But after she came, she didn't have a choice but to finish at the 12th grade. So she did continue two more years. Yalla found friends and good friends. She managed to adapt the environment. And my third child, Sora, was growing. He was only two years when I left Germany. He didn't remember much. He was very intelligent from day one. He could read by four years old. And everybody was astounded by his intelligence. But his school was different. I should have put him in the private school. I didn't. But then it's too late now, so I'm always saying why I didn't do it. So school was The school system is here. In the U.S., it's really bad. This is something that has to be changed. It has to be changed 100%. A teacher has to get paid more. And I think the whole industry has to be changed. It has to be more for people-oriented than for... industry. It's just school is not really the way it should be. They don't have good teachers. And the teachers don't get paid very well. So there is a lot of problem with the school system in the U.S., which we didn't have it in Germany. Germany school system was great compared to U.S., Public school in Germany is better than private school in the U.S., I would say. However, time passed. We started our own company in the U.S. At first, it wasn't that great. It was difficult, just like every business started. I didn't know what to do. I followed my Wives lead. And she was for advertising, a lot of advertising in Washington Post. And we did advertising and was very, very good, very, very successful. After two, three years, we were very known in Washington area. And we pushed a lot of product, even though it wasn't that much profitable. But we put almost six, seven hundred thousand a month. That was a lot of sales. So I grow, I grow, my company grow. At some point in 2000, I have 32 employees. 32. My payroll was $90,000. That's a lot of money. So we grow. And September 11 happened. Even though I cannot blame it only on September 11th, but after September 11th, everything goes down. My business goes down. In general, nothing was the same. The dot-com basically break down to the pieces. Dot com boom, so not many more. Boom. Everybody was going out of business. And it affected my business big time. So people left. I never fired anyone. People left by themselves. Because there was no more money. And I lost my best people. My good IT guys. And the few people stay, and then we continue. We continue to try to understand the market, try to change, and to adapt. Try to adapt to new technology, new system, and everything around it. The only mistake, big mistake I did, and I knew I was doing it, but I didn't know how to fix it, was website. I didn't build a website. I did spend almost with one company $20,000. They took my money. I never delivered anything. And I tried to do it. But back then, a website was not an easy job. So it didn't work. And I changed my software to more advanced Everest. It spent $85,000, supposedly doing website, but didn't work as usual. That was hurting us big time. And in 2000, around 2007, I got my first PBX sold, VoIP over IP, PBX. And the first was in cloud. It was a computer. You have to install it in the customer location. It's act as PBX. We installed it. And we installed a second one for ours. But it wasn't. great software that was not working very well. I didn't know what to do, and eventually we give it up, these PBX. What we did was, because of lightning in Washington area, it was really bad weather in 2008, 2009. Really, really bad weather. We thought we have to go data center because our server is down every single minute. So in data center, this kind of thing wouldn't happen. So we bought very, you know, that big rack. They divided in three different places. So rented every single one. So from a big rack, we got only one third of it. And then for $500, I remember. We put our server there, and then once we put our server, we tried to put our phone system there, which works very well. And then we did American Service Center. Two servers for them. First it was one, and then second one at Zoom later. And our data center started. That was starting The biggest, basically, change in my business, we have now two locations, one data center, one major, our own locations. That changed the whole perspective of our business. First we did it for us, then expanded to our customers. We applied for many, many businesses. At this point we have almost 16 customers in our business. data center that changes the whole perspective of my business. And I think now we're doing it in managed service from 2014. We do managed services, focusing on managed services. And I think 2022, I can mark there's managed security system that we should apply MSSP which is now even one step ahead, above the MSP. So all these changes I made, all these processes, I'm happy. My son going to, now he's 29 years old, going to, I think last year after school, I'm very happy, very happy. He has some dilemma. He finished those dilemma. He bypassed those. Now he knows where he's standing. He knows where he wants to go. This is great. And my two daughters are, the first daughter to finish the school was Yalda. I wish I told her more to go back to law school. But I was the person who told them law school no good. Even though I was wrong, I knew I was wrong, but I, you know, mistake you make, I didn't mean the law school is bad. I was meaning that other things better. I don't know how to say it. So she didn't go to law school. She finished university, Georgetown, George Washington, but she didn't go any further. And Sherry just finished her certification for, what's it called, the CRM. Sorry, I forgot the name. But she finished that certification, now she has job. She's extremely happy, I'm very happy for her. I think it's the right direction. What can I say? And Haide, Haide is great. I'm very lucky I have her in my life. She's phenomenal. She has everything but a good person. wish to have. And I am very happy to have her in my life. But I wasn't happy not because of those. I was not happy because of me, myself. I think I could do more. I really do. And I didn't do it. So Heide was saying, get the birthday. 60 is your birthday. You should have a big one. He says, why? Why should you celebrate? I didn't do much. I was a failure, at least for myself. I was a failure. You have to admit it. I think if you don't admit it, that you was a failure, you're not going to make it better. And I think I have to admit it. So I think I did the right thing. That should be my first podcast. I wouldn't call it a life of failure, but this moment of time, after too many tries, so much focus, I couldn't do one single podcast. This is crazy. It just, Has to do with a lot of things. You know, this is not my country. My mother language is Farsi. My second language was German. My third language is English. So one reason I can do it, because of your native English. I'm not native in English. And I... stuff you want to say on the podcast. First of all, I couldn't say it in Farsi. I'm worse in Farsi than English, believe me or not. So I could better talk in English, but I don't even know very well English. So that was a big dilemma in it. I mean, if I could do better in English, probably I would be better. in podcasting. I think one of the reasons I was not successful is this. Second is I wasn't committed. I mean, you want to do something, you have to put more time in it. And I didn't put time enough. So it was my fault. That's why I'm a failure. And I'm trying not to be that person. You know, something big happened last weekend. One of the family members, which I knew him from when he was 18 years old, So I'm not going to mention his name. Maybe he doesn't like it. But I didn't see him quite sometimes. Maybe I saw him once in Chicago for two minutes. That was when he was like 27, 28 years old. And I didn't talk to him. I just bypassed him. To me, back then, he was arrogant. To me, he looked like an arrogant person. But he wasn't. I was more arrogant than he was. So he came to visit us here in Washington because his mother passed away. We call him Khale. And she was great. She was a phenomenal person. So all of them decided to come to Washington, D.C., lucky us. There were two people from Chicago, one person from Boston, and one person from California, the son from California. They came and then, we supposed to get together here and do some memorial for her. So I, we were all together here, and then my family here, my wife, Gita, Shanos, which came from Holland, mother, Masoud's mother. And Farideh actually was here too, which is Haida's sister. There were a lot of people from her side of family. And we have get together and talk and I have a chance to see him and talk to him, to him after so many years. So almost 40 years. So we talk. And I, at first I couldn't believe it. So much changes. Almost 40 years is what you expect. However, there were good changes. It was... He was talking like really good and he was changed so much. He knows so much, knows so much. And I'm almost four years older than him. I didn't know this much. Not just because why I don't know it, obviously it could be. A 40-year-old person knows more than I do. And there shouldn't be any question. However, I see myself that there was not difficult for me to do it. Or at least I could try it. And I decided to try it. And That's why I'm doing this podcast. At least, let me try it. So this is the reason for this particular podcast. If I air this podcast or not air it, I don't really think matter. I'm happy I made it. I'm trying to air it. Seriously. Not just because I want to have a podcast. I want to have a start. I want to have a start and with that start I want to do good. For me. For everybody around me. For a People have life like me. And maybe some people can have those experiences and use it for their lives. And maybe not. But at least I try. And I think that's the most important part. I am no one, without any question, I don't put any degrees that I know some. I don't. But I'm trying to know. And I think that that should be a start. And I think that is enough. For whoever is listening to it, thank you. for spending with me my short history of my life and why I'm upset. And hopefully in the future I have more podcasts for you. Thank you.